Recently i was told by a friend that i am very afraid of dying. Although i did not correct him there cause it would have seemed hypocritical if i did. But it brought about a thought process in me. I have always been a firm believer that death is inevitable and that it will come when it has to come and there is nothing you can do to stop it. Then how is it that i have put myself across to him as a person who is afraid of dying?
I have been introspecting on this, since that day. What is it that is making me afraid of death?
I have now realized that it is because of two reasons...
1) I have been witness to my share of death and loss. I have seen what is does to parents to see their child die. The person who died has died, but what he leaves behind is the cause of all grief and sorrow to his loved ones. It is this fear of causing any kind of sorrow to my parents thats causing me to be afraid of dying.
2) The 2nd reason happens to be a more selfish one. I am afraid that my life would not mean anything if i died right now. I havnt yet done anything in my life. And i dont want to be forgotten. There is this strong urge to be alive even after i die and to keep living on.
And this brings me to the next realization - What do i need to do now, to keep living on later?
I still dont have the answer to that question, but i know it will come when the time is right. Until then i'll try to live my life and not just exist in it. :)
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
Thursday, September 30, 2010
The irony of taking "Risks" to ensure "Safety"
I always thought that pilots and more specifically Air force pilots have the riskiest jobs in the world. Then this morning i saw a documentary report by NGC on test pilots. Do you know what test pilots do? They test the new aircrafts (whatever they may be) to make sure they are safe enough to fly. Irony isnt it?
What caught my attention was the processes the pilot and the aircraft goes through in order to deem an aircraft safe. The pilots first test the basics and then its limits. And what are these limits u would ask. They are the limits of the altitude an aircraft can go to and the limits of the speed an aircraft can undertake. So how do u test these limits? But of course, by crossing them. These pilots first cross the limits and then deliberately lose control of the aircraft till the last minute from which the aircraft can be pulled to safety. You getting goose pimples yet? What if they cant pull up in time u will ask. Well then if they are lucky, they can eject in time and if not they just go down with the aircraft. Sounds scary right?
What was most distinguishable about these pilots is how much they love to fly and how much they love being a test pilot, in spite of the risks involved. More admirable was the fact that how understanding and supportive their families are. And even in case there are fatal accidents they do not blame the aviation, the accept that this is what their husbands/sons/brothers/fathers loved to do and they died doing just that.
Why is this blog entry relevant to me? I recently lost a pilot friend in a chopper crash? I know he loved to fly and he died doing just that. This blog entry is dedicated to him. May he rest in peace wherever he is. Gaurav you will be immensely missed.
What caught my attention was the processes the pilot and the aircraft goes through in order to deem an aircraft safe. The pilots first test the basics and then its limits. And what are these limits u would ask. They are the limits of the altitude an aircraft can go to and the limits of the speed an aircraft can undertake. So how do u test these limits? But of course, by crossing them. These pilots first cross the limits and then deliberately lose control of the aircraft till the last minute from which the aircraft can be pulled to safety. You getting goose pimples yet? What if they cant pull up in time u will ask. Well then if they are lucky, they can eject in time and if not they just go down with the aircraft. Sounds scary right?
What was most distinguishable about these pilots is how much they love to fly and how much they love being a test pilot, in spite of the risks involved. More admirable was the fact that how understanding and supportive their families are. And even in case there are fatal accidents they do not blame the aviation, the accept that this is what their husbands/sons/brothers/fathers loved to do and they died doing just that.
Why is this blog entry relevant to me? I recently lost a pilot friend in a chopper crash? I know he loved to fly and he died doing just that. This blog entry is dedicated to him. May he rest in peace wherever he is. Gaurav you will be immensely missed.
Tuesday, September 28, 2010
Things U Miss...
Recently i have become a hardcore internet addict for having nothing else to do. (Thats what i am saying.... ) But whenever i have been extremely busy i crib that i dont have time to read, to paint, and indulge myself in some other pleasures of life. And now that i have the time... i just go ahead and waste it on the internet and the new tech age idiot box.
Last weekend my internet died on me, and i felt that my life has come to a standstill, coz i wouldnt be able to get my net running till the next monday. So what would i do for three days??
Friday evening i spend with a friend i havent met in a long long time. My classmate from NIFT. It was a wonderful evening catching up on lost time. Sitting at a lounge in Vashi we spend time drinking and eating and laughing and being nostalgic and remembering the happy years of NIFT.
Most of Saturday and Sunday was spend watching movies with mom on TV. And one of these days when my parents were out for a while, i learnt what it feels like to be in your own company and laughing all by yourself on things that are funny. (I was watching "Chup Chup Ke" on Tv) I may have smiled to myself before or maybe even giggle by myself at something, but this time around i was a laughing riot. This is something i dont remember doing and it felt soo good. I felt soo happy from within :)
And last evening i did something that i havnt done in this entire monsoon season. I just sat there by the window and watched the rain. It was 5 in the evening when the sky started getting darker and darker and strong winds had started blowing. It felt like autumn when the dry leaves from the trees were breaking off their tethers and slowly floating towards the earth. The hot air left behind by the afternoon sun was rapidly replaced by a cool breeze. I opened all my windows to let some of it in. Then came the thundering and the lightning and although the streaks of lightning could not be seen from where i was seated, the clouds kept glowing up from time to time accompanied by the loud rumblings. Then came the sweet smell of earth as though the ground had been parched for years and was welcoming the rains. When the first drops fell i saw everyone trying to find some shelter, the dogs, the pigeons, the lone Bai on the road... and then rains came down as though there was no tomorrow.
How often do we miss the little things in life because we are so involved with the latest technology. I myself am one of those and i knew for sure that i wouldnt survive 3days without my internet, but i did and how :)
Last weekend my internet died on me, and i felt that my life has come to a standstill, coz i wouldnt be able to get my net running till the next monday. So what would i do for three days??
Friday evening i spend with a friend i havent met in a long long time. My classmate from NIFT. It was a wonderful evening catching up on lost time. Sitting at a lounge in Vashi we spend time drinking and eating and laughing and being nostalgic and remembering the happy years of NIFT.
Most of Saturday and Sunday was spend watching movies with mom on TV. And one of these days when my parents were out for a while, i learnt what it feels like to be in your own company and laughing all by yourself on things that are funny. (I was watching "Chup Chup Ke" on Tv) I may have smiled to myself before or maybe even giggle by myself at something, but this time around i was a laughing riot. This is something i dont remember doing and it felt soo good. I felt soo happy from within :)
And last evening i did something that i havnt done in this entire monsoon season. I just sat there by the window and watched the rain. It was 5 in the evening when the sky started getting darker and darker and strong winds had started blowing. It felt like autumn when the dry leaves from the trees were breaking off their tethers and slowly floating towards the earth. The hot air left behind by the afternoon sun was rapidly replaced by a cool breeze. I opened all my windows to let some of it in. Then came the thundering and the lightning and although the streaks of lightning could not be seen from where i was seated, the clouds kept glowing up from time to time accompanied by the loud rumblings. Then came the sweet smell of earth as though the ground had been parched for years and was welcoming the rains. When the first drops fell i saw everyone trying to find some shelter, the dogs, the pigeons, the lone Bai on the road... and then rains came down as though there was no tomorrow.
How often do we miss the little things in life because we are so involved with the latest technology. I myself am one of those and i knew for sure that i wouldnt survive 3days without my internet, but i did and how :)
Thursday, August 26, 2010
1st trip of the year - Dalhousie winter trek- Jan 2010
I must say this trek started off with a lot of grumbling by me. All those who had promised to come for this trek with me, ditched me at the last moment, hence i was compelled to go with the only person left, Mohit. I had hoped of him to be a good company/experience but he was so not. But anyway i will continue with my other experiences and not dwell on this matter.
It was a cold December night when we started off from Delhi. Having booked a 2nd class ticket to Pathankot we were trying to make this trip economical. What we didn't realize was, winter requires 2-3 blankets in 2nd class compartment and we were just in our 3 layers of woolens and jackets. By morning both of us were frozen solid. I could not feel my feet and no amount of rubbing would get them to warm up. There were a lot of defense personnels in the same compartment who offered advices and blankets to warm us up. My heartiest thanks to them.
Arriving at Pathankot we headed to the Air-force station to meetup with a few of my friends before moving towards Dalhousie. We met up with Pooja and Kapil and had a lovely lunch with them. Then in the evening we decided to move off to Dalhousie for our rendezvous. The drive from Pahankot to Dalhousie is all of 2.5hrs. Dalhousie was chilly yet there was no sigh of snow that we had been anticipating.
We registered ourselves at the base camp and went up to our respective rooms in the YHA hostel. Freshened up and went down for dinner. After dinner there was a party arranged for the 31st night but i was too tired to attend it and really needed my sleep. Hence my new year's eve was spend sleeping. Next morning we were woken up for the acclimatization walk which was of some 8kms. It was a nice refreshing walk which allowed us to interact with the other people in the group. After this trek we had the rest of the day off to finish packing and preparing for the next day of trekking.
The 1st day of the trek was flagged off at 9am and was a trek of 6hr to Kala-top. It was a beautiful route through the jungles with a lot of steep climbs. But the beauty of it all made it worth the effort. We arrived at the Kala-top accommodation at 3pm and after a brief rest and tea headed off to see the view from the highest point in the region. It was another hours climb but the sunset from this place is one of the most beautiful that i have seen. After sunset we went back to the hostel for hot soup and dinner.
Each night after dinner a campfire session was held, wherein people sang songs or told jokes n stories or played games. This form of entertainment was a much needed form of interaction for us.
Next morning we were woken up at 5am for morning tea and were greeted with the good news of the impending snowfall. Our joy was boundless as we received the 1st snowfall of the season a couple of hours later. Catching snowflakes on my tongue was one thing that I've always wanted to do. After a nice breakfast we had to move off towards our next destination- Khajjiar. At 8am we started off. On the way we experienced 1st snowfall and then rains. The route to Khajjiar was one of the most difficult ones. There was a steep descent followed by a steep ascent. By the time we approached Khajjiar it was raining heavily. As we entered our hostel, the heavy rains had turned into heavy snowfall. The beauty of it was breathtaking. Within the hour, everything was covered in white. And the chill that followed later was too much to let us have a good nights sleep. With the lack of any kind of heating instrument around, we had even tried to keep ourselves by the flame of a candle.
The next morning we went down to the lake where the view was stunning. A think fog cover was hanging over the lake and everything around the lake was white. The 1st rays of the sun kissed the mountain tops to make exquisite scene. After lots of photography here we went back to a nice hot breakfast.
We then started off to our next destination Chamba. Chamba is at a much lower altitude than Khajjiar, hence we had to do a lot of steep descending. There was no climbing involved this time and as we went lower it got warmer. The route to Chamba was one of the longest, and once we got out of the jungles it was just a long walk on the winding highway with the sun breathing down our necks. As we dragged ourselves to our hostel in Chamba we were making plans to move off to Dalhousie the same evening as unofficially the trek was over. Hence on arriving at Chamba we decided to make a group and hire a vehicle to get down to Pathankot.
At first we took the ride to Dalhousie to collect our left over stuff and certificates before moving to Pathankot. The drive to Pathankot was another scary experience. After just 1/2 hr or travel we suddenly flooded with a thick cover of fog. The visibility had turned to nil and maneuvering the vehicle on the ghats at night was like trekking blindfolded. We almost went over the cliff twice as we cud not see the bend ahead. After 3 harrowing hours we finally got out of the ghats and the fog and reached back to the Air-force station.
Tired we settled in our respective rooms to have a hot water bath after 4 days. The water felt great and all we wanted to do was drift off to a peaceful sleep on a soft bed with a warm blanket.
It was a cold December night when we started off from Delhi. Having booked a 2nd class ticket to Pathankot we were trying to make this trip economical. What we didn't realize was, winter requires 2-3 blankets in 2nd class compartment and we were just in our 3 layers of woolens and jackets. By morning both of us were frozen solid. I could not feel my feet and no amount of rubbing would get them to warm up. There were a lot of defense personnels in the same compartment who offered advices and blankets to warm us up. My heartiest thanks to them.
Arriving at Pathankot we headed to the Air-force station to meetup with a few of my friends before moving towards Dalhousie. We met up with Pooja and Kapil and had a lovely lunch with them. Then in the evening we decided to move off to Dalhousie for our rendezvous. The drive from Pahankot to Dalhousie is all of 2.5hrs. Dalhousie was chilly yet there was no sigh of snow that we had been anticipating.
We registered ourselves at the base camp and went up to our respective rooms in the YHA hostel. Freshened up and went down for dinner. After dinner there was a party arranged for the 31st night but i was too tired to attend it and really needed my sleep. Hence my new year's eve was spend sleeping. Next morning we were woken up for the acclimatization walk which was of some 8kms. It was a nice refreshing walk which allowed us to interact with the other people in the group. After this trek we had the rest of the day off to finish packing and preparing for the next day of trekking.
The 1st day of the trek was flagged off at 9am and was a trek of 6hr to Kala-top. It was a beautiful route through the jungles with a lot of steep climbs. But the beauty of it all made it worth the effort. We arrived at the Kala-top accommodation at 3pm and after a brief rest and tea headed off to see the view from the highest point in the region. It was another hours climb but the sunset from this place is one of the most beautiful that i have seen. After sunset we went back to the hostel for hot soup and dinner.
Each night after dinner a campfire session was held, wherein people sang songs or told jokes n stories or played games. This form of entertainment was a much needed form of interaction for us.
The next morning we went down to the lake where the view was stunning. A think fog cover was hanging over the lake and everything around the lake was white. The 1st rays of the sun kissed the mountain tops to make exquisite scene. After lots of photography here we went back to a nice hot breakfast.
We then started off to our next destination Chamba. Chamba is at a much lower altitude than Khajjiar, hence we had to do a lot of steep descending. There was no climbing involved this time and as we went lower it got warmer. The route to Chamba was one of the longest, and once we got out of the jungles it was just a long walk on the winding highway with the sun breathing down our necks. As we dragged ourselves to our hostel in Chamba we were making plans to move off to Dalhousie the same evening as unofficially the trek was over. Hence on arriving at Chamba we decided to make a group and hire a vehicle to get down to Pathankot.
At first we took the ride to Dalhousie to collect our left over stuff and certificates before moving to Pathankot. The drive to Pathankot was another scary experience. After just 1/2 hr or travel we suddenly flooded with a thick cover of fog. The visibility had turned to nil and maneuvering the vehicle on the ghats at night was like trekking blindfolded. We almost went over the cliff twice as we cud not see the bend ahead. After 3 harrowing hours we finally got out of the ghats and the fog and reached back to the Air-force station.
Tired we settled in our respective rooms to have a hot water bath after 4 days. The water felt great and all we wanted to do was drift off to a peaceful sleep on a soft bed with a warm blanket.
Back to Blogging
Its been soo soo long since my last post... and not that i have all the time in the world, i am back to blooging. So many trips and events have gone by that i need to blog about. Guess i should start with where i left off last - My trip/trek to Dalhousie.
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