On Friends and Friendship...

Webster defines 'FRIEND' as 'one attached to another by affection or esteem', 'acquaintance', ' one that is not hostile' and 'a favored companion'.  So what really is a friend? At what point does one become a friend? What are the qualities of a friend? They say friendship comes in various degrees, so what is the degree of a friend? Why are there so many categories into which friendship get classified? And what about those that do not fall into any category? 


So what really is a friend? According to me He/She is someone whose company you like. Someone you like talking to. Someone who you trust. And someone who is by your side even in difficult times. Someone who will scold you when you do wrong and yet someone who will forgive your mistakes. Someone who will laugh with you, cry with you and also lend you a shoulder to cry on. Someone who will raid your fridge without asking, borrow your new dress for a party, or steal your favorite jacket. Someone you fights for you and who you will stand up for. Someone who knows what your flaws are and yet accepts you just the same. Someone who will call you at 3am just to tell you he/she is drunk or that they are lonely and needed someone to talk to.... Someone, with whom you can talk about anything under the sun and not feel awkward..
Wow! now thats a loooong list of qualities to be attributed to one person and yet there are people who are blessed with these. There isn't even a time frame for someone to develop these qualities, some may slip into this role as easily as a hot knife through butter and yet others take their own sweet time. None the less, both still have the same qualities.


Now there are various kinds of friends and they are classified into 3 broad categories, where friends come into you life for a) A reason b) A season c) A lifetime


Now lets look as the first classification
A reason: These category of friends are in your life to serve a motive, either for your benefit or their. And when that motive is fulfilled either you or they will end this friendship. It is nobody's fault. They were in your life for a purpose and since that purpose is over, they are no longer required in your life and will leave. 
For eg. Lets say you got your heart broken and didn't want to turn to your 'friends' as you didnt want their pity. You in turn, turned to an acquaintance or maybe even a stranger. You poured your heart out and he/she absolutely understood. You both got on like a house on fire. Your heart healed in like 4-5months and you are back to you usual self. This is when your friendship with this new friend starts wavering, rocking and finally ends. It was nobody's fault. He/she was sent into your life for a reason, the reason here being 'to help you heal your broken heart'. Now that the reason no longer exists, the friend has to leave. 
It could be the other way round too, wherein they came into your life as they needed you. But now that their need is fulfilled, they will leave.
Do not dwell upon or feel bad about this relationship. It has served its purpose and you need to move on.


The second classification is
A season: These types of friends generally come into your life for a pre-determined amount of time, in other words 'a season'. They will not cease to be your friends but they generally go from being a stranger-->acquaintance-->best friend-->acquaintance. These types of friends are generally made in schools, colleges, offices, trips etc. So you get the idea.. when you were in school you had a set of friends who you hung out with all the time. You grew out of school, went to different colleges and had different sets of friends who you hung out will all the time now and so on. You dont really end your past friendships but somehow new friends now are more important.


The third type are the ones that pass the tests of reason and season and stay for
A lifetime: He/she will be that person from school who is still your closest friend, who probably even went to the same college as you. Someone who you met at college, who works in a different office and still makes it a point to meet up with you once a week. Someone who who you met on a trekking trip who lives far away and yet finds time to chat with you every night. Someone who makes it a point to call you atleast once a month just so you don't lose touch. 
These are the people who will remember your birthday and will give you a call, although there will be some shameless ones who you forgive every year. These are the people who will come to your wedding no matter where they are and shamelessly gift you your first negligee for honeymoon night. And for 8/10 times these are the people who have all the qualities of a friend :)


I was thinking about a few people while writing this post. Can you identify yourself in here?

Things to do before i die...

So everyone has a list right? Things they wanna do, things they wanna accomplish in their lifetime... I too have one such list...

The best part about such lists are that they don't have to be realistic or reasonable, they can have things as simple as 'getting a dog' or as crazy as 'skydiving in the Arctic'. Nothing is impossible right! as long as you have the will and the passion to go for it, and just imagine the satisfaction and the happiness you feel when you actually do one of these things. In the journey of life you atleast did something YOUR way.

Not necessarily everyone religiously tries to complete their list, but atleast they have it somewhere in the back or their minds that there is something they always wanted to do but havn't done it for whatever reasons. They will keep saying to themselves that the thing in question is too crazy to be actually carried out and that only eccentric people would do it, but on the other hand they would also secretly wish that they had the courage to do it. They will find a million reasons and excuses for not doing it, but not ONE reason to go ahead and do it.
ME..!! well i wanna do a lot of things, experience a lot of things, but not everything happens according to ur will right? but i still strive to do whatever i can :) Sooo... here i am sharing my 'Things to do before i die' list . I've managed to complete a couple of them.. marked in red

Things to do before i die

1. Find love
2. Get my dream job done 1st April 2011
3. Take my ma n pa to a foreign country holiday done 20th Aug 2011
4. Earn a master’s degree done 11^th Nov 2010
5. Go to in Leh Ladakh done on 9^th June 2009
6. Get the paragliding flying license
7. Skydive
8. Take a week long vacation  - SOLO -  (did double) 2 weeks in Thailand 8th to 21st July 2012
9. Go to Paris - done 26th - 28th Aug 2011
10. Go to New York
11. Go to London- done 29th May to 6th June 2010
12. Visit the land of kangaroos-Australia
13. Visit atleast one off-beat place in the world which would make people say "Why did u decide to go there of all places"
14. Learn a foreign language - spanish
15. Get the scuba diving license - completed on 12th July 2012
16. Learn to play a musical instrument
17. Learn to Salsa – completed 3 levels in Oct 2008
18. Go white water rafting – done on 26^th Oct 2008
19. Get a dog/cat
20. Visit Rajasthan – Done 25^th to 31^st Mar 2010
21. Go to Kaziranga National Park
22. Go for a North East trip - Done Sikkim in Jan 2010 more left
23. See atleast one wonder of the world - done London Bridge-30th May 2010, Eiffel Tower-27th Aug 2011
24. Trek the Himalayas 
25. Fly first class
26. Go skinny dipping :P
27. Do something that makes someone say, "You know, I really admire what you did/do!"done on 10^th jan 2009
28. Go cliff diving
29. Finish this list before 30 so that i can make a new one :)

5 friends, 2 tents, 1 waterfall and a barbeque under the stars...

daSmall pleasures with a bunch of friends is what life is made of. A compilation of many such pleasures was what comprised my 1st weekend of December. A camping trip to Jawhar consisting of a barbecue dinner.

Certain unavoidable technical problems had delayed our departure time from Vashi. Certain last minute preparations and shopping sprees were threatening to throw us off schedule and it managed to do it too. Our 1:30pm departure time got stretched to 3:30pm and the traffic we found on the 'Priyadarshini' signal did nothing to help but delay us by another 45mins. After picking up Dheeraj from sion we were speeding towards Goregaon to meet up with Praful and Manish. At 5:30pm we were at Goregaon. Now our destination from here, according to google maps, would take 2hrs 30mins to cover. And we were off. Next stop - Manor. We reached Manor at around 7:30pm and waited for Praful and Manish to catch up wid us on their bike. From Manor we had to take SH33 towards Jawhar. This is a 45km stretch of secluded road and i wanted us to be together although Moiz had different views. But then Praful n Manish arrived some 15mins later and all of us now went on to SH33.

SH33 is a beautiful stretch of road with trees on both sides, gradually winding along the country side and ghats. The only things marring its reputation are the huge potholes that just appear out of nowhere. Praful was riding right behind us this entire stretch until we reached Jawhar. I remembered Dabhosa waterfall being just about 5-6kms from Jawhar but at arriving at Jawhar and inquiring, the owner of a dhaba told us that it is another 18kms away. He even made us a rudimentary map of the route. But after a little further, Moiz decided to go and get a second opinion. Lo n Ho, he came back with a drunkard who claimed he was going the same way and would show us the direction. He came and squeezed himself behind Dheeraj. Following is the conversation we had in our car. (Actual dialogues in bold, translated in red, my comments in blue)

Moiz (in makeshift marathi): Tumcha naav kai ahe? (translated - what is your name?)

Drunkard (in fluent, superfast marathi): Majha naav "something i cant rmbr name" ahe. (translated: My name is blah blah?) (actual tranlation : My name is blah blah and im so glad i found u guys to gimme a ride home)

Moiz: Tumhi kai kaam karta? (translated - what do u do? ) (Actual translated - do u even work or are u just a useless drunkard?)

Drunkard: Arre me ikadcha sarpanch! Ithe sagle lok mala olakhtaat. Tumhi bas tethe jaun majha naav saanga ani te tumhala aat gheteel. (translation - I am the sarpanch of this place. Everyone knows me here. Just take my name whereever u go here and they will all let u in. ) (Actual translation - I just saw the 'DUNCE' stamped across your forehead, so even if i tell you that i am the king of this place, you have no way to prove it otherwise :P )

Me (in english so that drunkard dsnt understand): Moiz this guy is reeking of alcohol.


Moiz (in english so that drunkard dsnt understand): Yeah i know, but he said he can show us the way.


In the meantime, "The Sarpanch" has already taken us on the wrong route.

Drunkard: Arre tumhi galat mod ghetla, parat ja parat ja. (translation - Hey you have taken the wrong turn. Now turn back and go till the intersection) (Actual translation - Now i know how badly lost you are and know shit abt this area)

Moiz: Arre me vicharla tumhala konta mod ghyacha mhanun. (translation - Hey i asked you which turn to take.) (actual translation - F****R)

Me (in english so that drunkard dsnt understand): Moiz are you sure this guy is taking us the right way? I have a feeling we are being led to an ambush point.


Moiz (in english so that drunkard dsnt understand): Arre dont worry, nothing will happen.


Drunkard: Tumhi loka kuthun aalaat? (translation : Where are you guys from?) (actual translation - i am trying to see if you guys are smart enuff to put up a fight later)

Moiz: Aamhi mumbaihun aalo. (translation - We are from Mumbai) (actual translation - we sure can kick your ass)

Drunkard : Arre me pan Mumbaila gelo hoto. Majha baiko cha motha bhai tithe rahto. To shivaji nagarcha Sr. Inspector ahe. (translation - Ohh i have been to mumbai too. My brother in law lives there. He is the Sr. Inspector at Shivaji Nagar) (actual translation - i am not faking being the sarpanch of this place as i know big contacts in mumbai too)

Moiz: Arre tumcha lagna jhala. Mule aahet ki naahi? (translation - Ohh you are married. Do you have any kids?) (actual translation - I am just trying to catch u off guard with my clever questions)


Drunkard: Arre naahin naahin, majhya lagnala fakt 6-7 maas jhalet. Itke laukar mule naahin. ( translation - Oh no no no.. I got married just 6-7 months back, so no kids so soon) ( actual translation - you cant bog me down wid ur "clever" questions)

Me ( thinking aloud in english): He claims to be a sarpanch and he got married just 6-7 months back!!!!


Moiz: Premacha lagna ka? (translation - was it a love marriage?) (actual translation - i know there is a loophole here somewhere. Im gonna get you) 

Meanwhile we are on a deserted road with no lights anywhere and not even a lone dog in sight. Let alone a whole village. Praful is still close behind us on his bike.

Drunkard: Arre prema shivai kai lagna. Prema shivai kahihi chalta ka? ( translation - Ohh its a love marriage. Wot is life without love. ) (Actual translation - While im at it, i might as well give you lessons on love)

Praful stops us to point out that he saw a signboard that said 'take right for dhabosa'

Drunkard: Arre naahin naahin, me tumhala shortcut varun gheto. Tumhi to raasta ghetla ki tumhala 1 taas laagel pochaila. (translation - Oh no no, i am taking you from a shortcut. If you take that route it will take you an hr to reach dhabosa) (actual translation - u are all dumbnuts :P )

Me (in english so that drunkard dsnt understand): Duuuuudeeeee... we are so headed towards an ambush point. In case of an ambush you are to keep driving, no matter how many you run over :P




Then at one 'Y' intersection "The Sarpanch" gets off and asks us to keep driving along the road ahead and take a right. This is when i see the drunkard's face for the first time. He looks no more than 30 and one of the roadside lafangas. As we leave him behind..

Me: From which angle did he look like a Sarpanch??


Dheeraj: Whatt?? He was the Sarpanch? (well the entire conversation was lost to Dheeraj as he cud not understand marathi)


Me: Yeah and he was reeking of alcohol.


Dheeraj: Yeah, and how much he talks!.. Non stop bakbak.


Me: He made fools of us, just wanted us to drop him home. Now we will have to drive double the way to get to Dhabosa im sure.

Moiz: Kya re Pam, Kitna darti hai. Woh kya hamare liye hi baitha tha kya Ambush karneko? ( translation - What man Pam! You are such a scared little cat. Did he have telepathy that we would come along and he would have someone to ambush?) (actual translation - Ohh I am so glad we have not encountered an ambush yet :P )

Then after many laughters and a few stops to find the right way we finally arrived at Dhabosa waterfalls at 10pm. Now there was no way we would trek down to the falls to set up camp. Hence we decided to camp at the parking lot next to our car and the fenced railing.

This night wasnt cold, it was more like damp and wet and dewy. A little hot even as i was sweating. We set up our tents first and then started working on the barbeque. I was having fun sitting like a queen, while Moiz tended to the coals and Praful skewered the meat. Dheeraj and Manish were taking turns in fanning the coals :P. Praful made the drinks too later :P. I just ate and drank. Wow! this is life I say ;). I had made some pani puri at home that i had carried to camp. We ate this while the chicken got cooked. After a lot of chatting and some really delicious barbecue chicken prepared by Moiz, we went off to sleep at around 3am.

Our morning started at 9am. It was now a task to get the coal burning to make breakfast. Our plan was to eat breakfast and then head down to the falls. Only problem was - coal refused to burn. We had practically emptied every kind to flammable liquid on the coals, from kerosene to vodka to old monk to even petrol, to get them to catch fire. After maybe 1 1/2hrs the coal started burning. 1st task was boiling water for the tea, which took all of 5-10mins. I used the hot water to cook my beloved cup noodles. After tea we still had some leftover chicken from last night which we decided to cook and eat off as brunch as it was already 11am.

After a delicious meal, we pack up all our stuff and headed off to the falls. It was already 12:30pm and the sun was burning down our necks. The was already a huge crowd below as we reached the bottom. Hence after a few snaps near the falls we headed off to the opposite direction where there were no people to disturb us.
The was was nice and cool and as soon as Moiz got in he started swimming off towards the falls. Me as usual sat down to blow up my float, which later Praful did :P. And i got down into the water and onto my float and floated lazily in the pond. Praful refused to get in and was just showing off in his trunks. Dheeraj got into the water after much cajoling but Manish totally refused.

After a lot of splashes and photography sessions, we all got out and started our trek towards our car. Once at the top, we set up our tent again to be used as a changing room. After changing we neatly packed off our stuff and the tent and started our journey back. On the way we stopped near a lake for some photography sessions. I even drove some of the way back.

Our plan was to stop for a quick chow at Manor and then speed off towards Mumbai. Hence we stopped at a Dhaba at Manor and stuffed ourselves as we were really hungry. Then at around 7:30pm we started off towards Mumbai. But only 1/2hr into the drive and we encountered a traffic jam from hell. The vehicles moved at snail's pace and it seemed to us that we would be reaching home only in the morning.
At many instances we saw vehicles jumping over the low divider and moving off to the opposite lane which was absolutely empty. The one instance that we tried it, it turned out to be one horrifying scene. We were 3-4 cars behind each other driving down the right side of the opposite lane and then we saw a big truck coming up from behind us and driving down the same lane as ours but on the left side. We got so so scandalized seeing it, that we though one headlong collision was surely in the cards for that truck. Twice it nearly missed 2 huge vehicles. This was enough to send us back to our own traffic ridden lane. We were really in no mood to end our perfect trip with a sad story. Just for the record, that truck had come back to the traffic lane too :P.
By the time we reached Borivali, it was already 10pm. Once we entered the Mumbai city limits, the roads were emptier and Moiz used this opportunity to speed home. We dropped Dheeraj back to sion and headed back to Vashi. At was 11:30pm by the time i reached home.

For me it was an awesome trip. 5 friends, 2 tents, 1 waterfall and a barbeque under the stars...this is life :)

Looking back on my trips this year...

Well the year 2010 is about to end soon, just about a monthish to go. And as i look back to the trips i made this past year, i feel a sense of achievement. I love to travel, as all my loved ones know by now, and i strive for an outing, at least once every 2months if not less. So here is a summery of my travels this past year.

January: My New year's eve and new year was spent in Dalhousie - a beautiful hill station nestled in the picturesque mountains of Himachal Pradesh. I started this new year with a nice trek around the region with a group of 50 people. Witnessed glorious sunsets, stunning sunrises, the first snowfall, the chills and colds, the mists and the fogs and everything that makes you believe that you are in a dream. The 6hr long treks each day for 4days tested my limits and yet provided a huge sense of satisfaction when you reach that summit and view that sunset. Hoping that my 2011 starts with an offbeat trip/trek too. :)
  

The weekend of 26th Jan saw me visiting Gangtok and Darjeeling. This trip holds many sweet memories as this was my 1st duet trip with another female. Just the two of us, reaching Siliguri at different times and trying to find the Bagdogra AF stn, where we had stayed for the 1st night. Next morning we left for Gangtok where we stayed for 2 nights and explored the city on foot, the lonely planet way. I must say it should either be the lonely planet way or no way. :) We ate authentic North Eastern cuisine, hogging on pork & beef, drank the live mullet beer (which i must say i didn't like one bit) and shopped for curios. 4th day we left for Darjeeling. Must mention that Darjeeling is very filthy for a hill station, although it provides a mind blowing view of the Kanchen Zonga. The beauty of the endless tea gardens also keeps you mesmerized. The next morning took us to see the famous sunrise on the horizon from Tiger hill, and back to Siliguri in the World Heritage Site established, narrow guage, steam engine train. In the end it was one of my most memorable trips although getting back to Delhi from Siliguri had turned out to be a real pain in the a**.






February: This month remained mostly uneventful except for the huge burden of assignments that college had weighed us with.

March: March dragged in another impromptu, duple trip to Rajhasthan. After the grueling month full of exams, re-exams and assignments. This trip to Rajhasthan was a welcome break. We went from Delhi to Jaipur in a over night bus by managing to get the get the last tickets and hence seats at the back of the bus. Whole day was spent site seeing the famous monuments, namely the Hawa mahal, Jaipur fort, Jantar Mantar and Raj mandir and a little bit of shopping. The evening we spent at the beautiful  and picturesque village of Choki Dhani. Dancing with the colorful dancers, watching tight-rope walking performances, knowing your future by palm readings, getting palms tattooed by mehandi designs and stuffing ourselves with authentic rajhasthani food was the theme of the evening (although we were loo ridden later that night :P ).

Next day was planned for Ajmer and Pushkar. Pushkar being the only place in this world where Lord Brahma is worshipped. Pushkar is a quaint and colorful town full of temples on the banks of the lake. We rode through its narrow streets in our Activa to get a feel of the town. After visiting a few temples we made our way back to Ajmer where we visited the Jain temple and the Durgah. We hurried back to Jaipur later in the evening to catch a train to the next destination - Jaisalmer.

Jaisalmer is rightly named the Golden city for every thing here is in the colors of gold. The Jaisalmer fort itself looks like a Golden sand castle rising out of the earth. The beautiful Havelis and the quaint town take you back through time into a era where the princes ruled. A trip to Jaisalmer is incomplete without a trip to the sand dunes and a camel safari. Sleeping under the stars on the sand dunes with the camels to keep you company is an experience of a lifetime, and even more so if you can go to a more private place where there aren't hordes of other travelers to trouble you.

   

April: This month again was uneventful except for me making a small trip back home from delhi.

May: The May trip has been my most memorable one this year as i went international. This was my 1st trip out of India and i went to the UK. Two weeks at my mother college in Lancaster, a weekend in Scotland and a week in London. UK is a beautiful place, not too crowded and inhabited with a polite bunch of people. i know many will not agree to this, what with they ruling over us for over 300yrs, but they are. Good manners, civic sense and politeness is what i noticed in everyone that i interacted with. I even had a bus driver stop the bus in the middle of his route just to give me proper direction as i was standing all alone and seemingly lost in Morecambe. :) I will always remember this guy :) . As they so rightly say "A little kindness goes a long way".

     

  

     
The weekend in Scotland was the best part about my UK trip. This was again a duple trip covering Glasgow, a small to Loch Lomond on the west highlandway and Edinburgh. Glasgow was my solo trip until my friend arrived. I roamed the streets alone, sightseeing, walked by the waterfront and also checked out the various malls. After my friend arrived we had lunch and left for our trek. It was an 8mile hike from Belmaha to Loch Lomond. Although extremely tiring and with blisters in our feet, this trek was highly satisfying, considering the view we got to see in the end and the location of our youth hostel. This quaint little cottage that served as the youth hostel is located right at the shore of the Loch and the view is breathtaking. We cooked dinner for ourselves at the self catering kitchen and then went to bed. The next morning showered the area with rains and a beautiful foggy mist. The view cannot be explained in words only captured in the mind. After a few photo sessions and breakfast of hot steaming instant noodles, we decided to move towards belmaha and then to Edinburgh. But we were in no condition to trek back and didn't even have the time as we had to reach Edinburgh for siteseeing. We tried calling for cabs but to no avail. Then after a 45mins trek back we managed to hitchhike our way back. This is again something i have never done before and doing it in a foreign country seems like an achievement to me :). Once we got back to Glasgow, we caught a train to Edinburgh.

  

  

        
Edinburgh like Glasgow is an old city, with old Victorian architecture. It was fascinating to walk along the Royal mile and see all the old buildings and the underground closes. Even the Scottish accent is very different from those of the British, it sort of mesmerizes you. After a tour of the grand Edinburgh castle, i took a tour of Mary King's Close, and underground close that was inhabited by slaves in the time of the great plague. Its eerie and claustrophobic down there and makes you sick to know how the slaves were treated back then. We walked back to our hostel late evening and made ourselves hot steaming noodles and had a good night sleep. Next morning, i made my way back to Lancaster.

  

    

After the 2 week stay at Lancaster, we moved to England, my classmates and I. A night partying out with them at London and I moved to my Tejasvi's place at Ealing. It is rightly said, there is always something to do in London; u can never get bored. And hence all my 7 days in London were occupied with something to do. I went to see all the major attaractions, Piccadilly circus, Trafalgar square, Westminster Abbey, Big Ben, London eye and ofcourse Buckhingham Palace. London Bridge and Greenwich are also places that are not supposed to be missed, and the best way to get there is to take the ferry. And who can forget shopping at Oxford street and Portobello market. Then there is South hall -  the biggest Indian community settled in London, that will make you forget that you are actually in London and not Chandni Chowk of Delhi.

It was tough to say goodbye to London and get back to India. Really hoping that i will be going there soon :)

  

             
  
  
June: I returned back from UK on the 1st week of June after which the rest of the month was pretty uneventful except my severe allergic reaction to bed bug bites and my cousin sister's wedding towards the end of the month.
Weddings in my family are nothing but a reason for a get together. It feels really good when your entire extended family is staying under one roof, eating, chatting, smiling, laughing and having fun together. I always look forward to such gatherings. Unfortunately the next one id gonna be when its my chance to get married *shudder*.
  
July: Again nothing exciting except for working hard to finish my dissertation. Went for the first monsoon trek of the season. Around 15 of us, some known some unknown and yet we had an awesome time as it kept pouring all through the day.
  

August: Went to Delhi for the project submission. Towards the end of the month went for my toughest trek of this season - Rajmachi from Karjat side. I could not walk for 3days after it :P. But is was all in all a nice trek. Again it kept pouring all day and we were soaked to the bone, which was the best part about this trek.

  

September: Beginning of september went for another monsoon trek to Nakhind. We wanted to pool in as many treks before the monsoons got over. This was another nice trek wid non-stop rains all day and a hell of a ride back to mumbai on one of the worst roads i've ever seen.
   
October: Entire october i was bored to death. Then end of october i.e. 30th and 31st i made a camping trip with Moiz and Sunanda to Lonavala. It was a great adventure as we first went to Pune to pick up Sunanda, then went to pick up the tent, then met a friend of Moiz, then got stuck in traffic, then the car started smoking and we started to panic a bit, then hunt for the Maruti service center, getting the car checked, then finally leaving for lonavala, reaching lonavals and packing food and drinks, leaving for Korigad fort, darkest roads with no street lights, lone car on the road, reaching the fort base at 11pm and deciding to camp at the base. The night was fun with the yummy food and the beer, although i started panicking at 4am, being jumpy at every little sound. Next morning was reserved for photosessions. By 8am we were ready to head back.  
  

 

   
  
November:  Hmmm... nothing interesting has happened yet except for a quite diwali at home... waiting for my next adventure.

Watch this place for updates on November and December :)