Webster defines 'FRIEND' as 'one attached to another by affection or esteem', 'acquaintance', ' one that is not hostile' and 'a favored companion'. So what really is a friend? At what point does one become a friend? What are the qualities of a friend? They say friendship comes in various degrees, so what is the degree of a friend? Why are there so many categories into which friendship get classified? And what about those that do not fall into any category?
So what really is a friend? According to me He/She is someone whose company you like. Someone you like talking to. Someone who you trust. And someone who is by your side even in difficult times. Someone who will scold you when you do wrong and yet someone who will forgive your mistakes. Someone who will laugh with you, cry with you and also lend you a shoulder to cry on. Someone who will raid your fridge without asking, borrow your new dress for a party, or steal your favorite jacket. Someone you fights for you and who you will stand up for. Someone who knows what your flaws are and yet accepts you just the same. Someone who will call you at 3am just to tell you he/she is drunk or that they are lonely and needed someone to talk to.... Someone, with whom you can talk about anything under the sun and not feel awkward..
Wow! now thats a loooong list of qualities to be attributed to one person and yet there are people who are blessed with these. There isn't even a time frame for someone to develop these qualities, some may slip into this role as easily as a hot knife through butter and yet others take their own sweet time. None the less, both still have the same qualities.
Now there are various kinds of friends and they are classified into 3 broad categories, where friends come into you life for a) A reason b) A season c) A lifetime
Now lets look as the first classification
A reason: These category of friends are in your life to serve a motive, either for your benefit or their. And when that motive is fulfilled either you or they will end this friendship. It is nobody's fault. They were in your life for a purpose and since that purpose is over, they are no longer required in your life and will leave.
For eg. Lets say you got your heart broken and didn't want to turn to your 'friends' as you didnt want their pity. You in turn, turned to an acquaintance or maybe even a stranger. You poured your heart out and he/she absolutely understood. You both got on like a house on fire. Your heart healed in like 4-5months and you are back to you usual self. This is when your friendship with this new friend starts wavering, rocking and finally ends. It was nobody's fault. He/she was sent into your life for a reason, the reason here being 'to help you heal your broken heart'. Now that the reason no longer exists, the friend has to leave.
It could be the other way round too, wherein they came into your life as they needed you. But now that their need is fulfilled, they will leave.
Do not dwell upon or feel bad about this relationship. It has served its purpose and you need to move on.
The second classification is
A season: These types of friends generally come into your life for a pre-determined amount of time, in other words 'a season'. They will not cease to be your friends but they generally go from being a stranger-->acquaintance-->best friend-->acquaintance. These types of friends are generally made in schools, colleges, offices, trips etc. So you get the idea.. when you were in school you had a set of friends who you hung out with all the time. You grew out of school, went to different colleges and had different sets of friends who you hung out will all the time now and so on. You dont really end your past friendships but somehow new friends now are more important.
The third type are the ones that pass the tests of reason and season and stay for
A lifetime: He/she will be that person from school who is still your closest friend, who probably even went to the same college as you. Someone who you met at college, who works in a different office and still makes it a point to meet up with you once a week. Someone who who you met on a trekking trip who lives far away and yet finds time to chat with you every night. Someone who makes it a point to call you atleast once a month just so you don't lose touch.
These are the people who will remember your birthday and will give you a call, although there will be some shameless ones who you forgive every year. These are the people who will come to your wedding no matter where they are and shamelessly gift you your first negligee for honeymoon night. And for 8/10 times these are the people who have all the qualities of a friend :)
I was thinking about a few people while writing this post. Can you identify yourself in here?
So what really is a friend? According to me He/She is someone whose company you like. Someone you like talking to. Someone who you trust. And someone who is by your side even in difficult times. Someone who will scold you when you do wrong and yet someone who will forgive your mistakes. Someone who will laugh with you, cry with you and also lend you a shoulder to cry on. Someone who will raid your fridge without asking, borrow your new dress for a party, or steal your favorite jacket. Someone you fights for you and who you will stand up for. Someone who knows what your flaws are and yet accepts you just the same. Someone who will call you at 3am just to tell you he/she is drunk or that they are lonely and needed someone to talk to.... Someone, with whom you can talk about anything under the sun and not feel awkward..
Wow! now thats a loooong list of qualities to be attributed to one person and yet there are people who are blessed with these. There isn't even a time frame for someone to develop these qualities, some may slip into this role as easily as a hot knife through butter and yet others take their own sweet time. None the less, both still have the same qualities.
Now there are various kinds of friends and they are classified into 3 broad categories, where friends come into you life for a) A reason b) A season c) A lifetime
Now lets look as the first classification
A reason: These category of friends are in your life to serve a motive, either for your benefit or their. And when that motive is fulfilled either you or they will end this friendship. It is nobody's fault. They were in your life for a purpose and since that purpose is over, they are no longer required in your life and will leave.
For eg. Lets say you got your heart broken and didn't want to turn to your 'friends' as you didnt want their pity. You in turn, turned to an acquaintance or maybe even a stranger. You poured your heart out and he/she absolutely understood. You both got on like a house on fire. Your heart healed in like 4-5months and you are back to you usual self. This is when your friendship with this new friend starts wavering, rocking and finally ends. It was nobody's fault. He/she was sent into your life for a reason, the reason here being 'to help you heal your broken heart'. Now that the reason no longer exists, the friend has to leave.
It could be the other way round too, wherein they came into your life as they needed you. But now that their need is fulfilled, they will leave.
Do not dwell upon or feel bad about this relationship. It has served its purpose and you need to move on.
The second classification is
A season: These types of friends generally come into your life for a pre-determined amount of time, in other words 'a season'. They will not cease to be your friends but they generally go from being a stranger-->acquaintance-->best friend-->acquaintance. These types of friends are generally made in schools, colleges, offices, trips etc. So you get the idea.. when you were in school you had a set of friends who you hung out with all the time. You grew out of school, went to different colleges and had different sets of friends who you hung out will all the time now and so on. You dont really end your past friendships but somehow new friends now are more important.
The third type are the ones that pass the tests of reason and season and stay for
A lifetime: He/she will be that person from school who is still your closest friend, who probably even went to the same college as you. Someone who you met at college, who works in a different office and still makes it a point to meet up with you once a week. Someone who who you met on a trekking trip who lives far away and yet finds time to chat with you every night. Someone who makes it a point to call you atleast once a month just so you don't lose touch.
These are the people who will remember your birthday and will give you a call, although there will be some shameless ones who you forgive every year. These are the people who will come to your wedding no matter where they are and shamelessly gift you your first negligee for honeymoon night. And for 8/10 times these are the people who have all the qualities of a friend :)
I was thinking about a few people while writing this post. Can you identify yourself in here?
